The Free World

First, the set up.

Driving to work today my car radio locked itself on the AM band (don’t get me started, I am getting a new one next month). And I got to listen to this blow hole talk about how great America is, how we are the leaders of the free world and how we have so many rights and freedoms in this country, that if people don’t like it they can just leave. The blowhole in his next segment went on to talk about the dangers of a black President, said that their fried chicken and watermelon would ruin the White House and that they would never get the smell out, this blow hole also talked of the dangers of allowing the homosexual agenda to be pushed upon us, we are endangering our marriages and our children if we believe that the homosexual agenda is harmless, yet we are the leader of the free world.

Now, for my soapbox

Citizenship in America is not easy, to quote a movie, America is advanced citizenship and you have to want it. When is America going to get it, free speech is about more than being able to stand up and say whatever you desire, free speech is the ability to acknowledge someone is standing in the middle of room advocating at the top of their lungs what you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours, that is the freedom of speech. Freedom is taken for granted in this country; freedom is taken to mean freedom for those who agree with you, a moral standard, and a belief system shoved down everyone’s throats, while we pretend to have a freedom of religion. What happened to the ability to change the channel if you find something offense, why do we need it regulated, censored, or banned, pick up the remote and change the damn channel, it isn’t that hard. Moreover, what exactly is it about that homosexual agenda that scares the hell out of you, why you are so insecure in your beliefs, and in your marriage that you think the two boys in a loving relationship down the block will ruin it for you is beyond me, and if you can figure that out, well then you are a smarter person than I am. Let ask our allies such as France, Germany, the United Kingdom, Sweden, or the Czech Republic, Hungary, Uruguay, Slovenia, Spain, and Norway how they feel about same sex unions, those countries all have some form of legalized same sex union, and none of them have been stricken from the face of the earth, married couples did not cease to love each other or be married because two people of the same sex are also in a committed union together. America professing to be the leader of the free world is a crock of shit. Before we can profess ourselves to be the leaders of the free world we need to establish what freedom is, not a one sided “I am free to inflict my views upon you”, but an open debate, an open world where two people can stand openly in a room and profess their beliefs openly, and have the person standing next to them respect their right to be able to do it, that is freedom. Let us see that taught in classrooms, defend that, then we can stand up and sing about being the land of the free. The problem with so many people in our society, especially our leader is not that they do not get it, but that they can’t sell it. We have many issues facing our society, a failing economy, a falling foreign policy, a failed war, and what we need are serious people who get it to take charge and work together to solve the problems facing our nation. Most politicians are not the least bit interested in what our problems really are, they are interested in making you afraid of it, and telling you who is to blame for it, that is how elections are won. Senator Obama was right when he talked about apathetic voters who cling to their guns and bibles because that’s all they feel they have. Republicans have gotten really good at that game, you don’t need to debate issues, you just need to talk about family, values, character, and scare people that the other side is coming to take that away next. We have real problems facing this country and it is time for serious people to step up and help pull this country back up, and for blow holes like the moron on the morning radio, it’s past time that your fifteen minutes are up.

Thank you and good night.

The political reality

As I watch the current race for the Whitehouse, I find myself, shocked, appalled, and even disgusted by what is going on, even as a major in political studies, I am finding this current situation to be stupid. When is America and American voters going to get their heads out of their asses and pay attention? When can we have a campaign that is about issues, ideas, policy, not about the petty bullshit that a tabloid media and the intellectually lacking people who thrive on it push down our throats? Senator Clinton is still in the Democratic race for the nomination, despite trailing in money, pledged delegates, popular vote, and loosing super delegates by the day, and no mathematically possibly way to catch up. Her claim is that she, not Senator Obama can win in November, well Senator Clinton after the hatchet job you, your husband, and your daughter (who yes, you have pimped out on the campaign trail) have done, no wonder he is going to have a tough fight in November. Senator Clinton has had the nerve to say shame on Barrack Obama, well senator, SHAME ON YOU. You have made this race not about issues, but about Race, Gender, who can where a flag pin and call themselves a patriot, and who can sell out their friends the quickest. Do I agree with what Senator Obama’s former pastor has said, NO, I do not, but I also don’t think that you can judge Obama based upon it. I have friends who are racist, I have friends who have done some really stupid and wrong things, but they are still my friends, they know I do not always approve of what they say or do, and I most certainly do not always think the way they do. This race has accused Senator Obama of being a Muslim because of his name, hinting he may be a terrorist agent trying to infiltrate the government. Others will not even listen because he is black. Well people, NONE OF IT FUCKING MATTERS. It’s not about if your black or white, male or female, Christian or Muslim, Wealthy or Poor, what matters is what the next person to hold the Presidential Office will do to fix what has gone so terribly wrong over the last 8 years, what they next President will do to ensure a safe future. Everyone seems to want to know that, but it’s not the policy speeches that get attention, it’s not the ideas that get debates, it’s the tabloid garbage that is discussed around the water cooler so to speak. Senator Obama was correct when he spoke of American voters. People have become apathetic , and they cling to whatever they can that makes them feel safe and comfortable, guns, religion, “family values”, whatever it may be, and anything that comes along and challenges that apathetic security blanket is attacked, no attention is paid that the grass may be greener on the other side, and that the world could be a better place, we have all become to disinterested to care, to scared to dare to find out. Hopefully, some day we can have campaigns that focus on issues, and not what a candidate had for breakfast, or what an old friend of relative did, but unfortunately that day is not today, and by November millions upon millions will spent destroying the records and reputations of both candidates. Imagine what a campaign would look like if those millions got spent educating voters on issues, and ideas, that is real politics.

Lower Education

Well, I had a choice today, over the course of just random thoughts passing through my head (look out regular readers, random thoughts and my mind never end well) I came up with two potential blog topics. Well rather than combine the two (totally unrelated) topics I figured I would use the fairest method I know and pick one of them, I flipped a coin. Rest assured though, I have the other topic in reserve and will be bringing it out very soon. Now I need to preface this with a few things, this line of thinking originates sometime Tuesday afternoon, while I was suffering from an extreme lack of sleep and caffeine and according to some of my friends, I was a walking bitch fit most of the day. Now with that out of the way, here is my rant.

Ok, so well all went to high school, you know those special kids, no not the really smart ones, the other ones. Yup, you guessed it, I am talking about the special ed room. I have reached the conclusion that college needs special ed classes. I mean honestly , I am getting so sick of these people taking classes they are not qualified to be in, don’t have the capacity to comprehend, don’t have the whatever it is needed to succeed in that class. My problem is not that these students need extra time, or extra help, so please don’t think I am being a complete dick (albeit Tuesday I am sure I was being much bitchier about this). But it gets to be a distraction to the students in the class who are fully capable of keeping pace with a class when the instructor has to keep going backwards in a 300 or 400 level class and explaining the basic principles from 100 level courses so some people can keep up, everyone is losing. People who are keeping up start to get bored in the class and quite paying attention because the instructor is constantly backtracking, and the students who need the help end up struggling.

The other part of this is the advisors, if they have a student who they don’t think can hack it in a program, then they should have the stones to tell that student they should really look into something else. I will admit I am not cut out to be a doctor, I suck at science and not real great in math, so for me to go into pre-med would just be stupid. Same principle applies to every program, if you suck at history, or social sciences, don’t be a political studies major. I am not trying to say these people don’t deserve an education, but there should be a program designed for those who are obviously not on the same level as other students. Now I admit to an extent that such a program would provide a way out for slackers and others who think college is that 4 year non-stop party away from mommy and daddy, but in the long run it could free up instructors to teach classes to the intellectual level that will truly inspire debate and learning and not be forced to teach an upper level course to the lowest common denominator .

So this is the end of my rant on higher education. I know some of my readers agree with me, I expect some to burn me in effigy over this, but to be honest I DON’T CARE. I for one am sick of being asked in class if I could rephrase my arguments to be SIMPLER, I am sorry little Johnny can’t keep up, perhaps if by a 400 level political class and little Johnny don’t know who in the fuck Thomas Hobbs, John Locke, or Edmond Burke are then perhaps little Johnny should change his GOD DAMN MAJOR or apply for burger flipper at McDonalds, I’ll be his reference.

I’m back to my old self.

So I am getting back to my political commentary here. Earlier today I was reading the post by Matt over at Debriefing the Boys (seriously go read it, it’s good). I though he made a good, albeit slightly flawed, argument. But he said something about Voters not being stupid. And now we have the purpose of my post.
Let’s look at the average American voter shall we. IF the average American voter was an informed voter then candidates would not need Oprah (Obama), Chuck Norris (Huchabee), or her Husband (Clinton) to campaign for them, their positions on issues would be enough. Voters don’t look into candidates for the most part anymore, they take exactly what is spoon fed to them and like good little trained dogs they digest it and shit it back out. Anymore it’s all about who can get the celebrity endorsements and the money to make the fancier ads. When did it become more important in American who Ben Affleck is endorsing for president, rather than the candidates position on the issues. I find polling data interesting, but I think a more interesting question would be to ask why a person in supporting a candidate, I guarantee that for about 75% of responses the answer would come down to either a celebrity endorsement or pre-packaged issue that if you spent 5 minutes looking at the candidates record you could prove to be bullshit. Moreover, it all comes down to the dumbing down of America, its happening in our schools, if the kids can’t pass the standardized tests, we don’t try to make the kids smarter, we make the test easier (look up the Illinois Prairie State Achievement Exams, after more than half the Juniors in the state failed to pass the test the revamped the test, making it easier). It is also happening in our entertainment, reality shows like wife swap, and who can fuck who on some desert island are getting viewed more than the news, more than television shows that involve engaging the brain. If a celebrity wants to use their influence to promote something, why not promote to our students safe sex, values that don’t include getting sent to rehab for drug and alcohol abuse, why don’t they encourage kids that there is a difference between a healthy life (eating right and exercise) and an eating disorder to look like a size 0. I don’t ask my mechanic why my e-mail don’t work, I don’t ask they guy at Deli why my cars anti-theft isn’t working, so what qualifies a movie star, or a musician to tell people who to vote for, why does a celebrity have more influence in politics than people who have PHD’s in the fields of Political Science, Public Administration, Economics. The truth is that the American people don’t want to think on their own, they don’t want to research a candidate and become an informed voter, they want to take whatever pre-packaged sound bite they are given and go with it without even checking its validity.

A Rant/temper tantrum

Ok,

So it has been a while since I have gone of a ranting raving temper tantrum, but God fucking damnit, I am sick and tired of my Dad being an ass. Let me back up a minute here and say that my older brother is an aerospace engineer with airbus, my sister a school teacher, and me, the 24 year old college student. This all started about a month ago, my dad got this e-mail with all kinds of questions, he then forwarded it me and my brother, my brother got it and answer all of the questions correctly, I did not get it till later and I looked at the questions and got all the answers as well. I didn’t respond with the answers, figured my brother already had, no need to be redundant, at dinner we were discussing my brother and sister, dad proceeded to make a comment that made it sound like I was the retard of the family, and when I objected his response was “well, like you would have been able to answer those questions. For the fucking record my ACT score is higher than my sisters and 2 points lower than my brothers (23, 26, 28 respectively) and my SAT score is higher than either of theirs. Well I blew it off, then he did it again, and I blew that off. Well tonight he was at a club (a club I happen to be an officer at) and they were discussing a news story about spanking children. He told them that he has spanked all his children, ones an engineer with airbus, ones a school teacher, the only one that it seemed to effect was me. Ya know, fuck you dad, I am sick of putting up with being put down by you. I have over a 3.0 GPA the last two semesters, a B average overall. I am sorry that I had a couple of bad semester a couple of years ago, that whole hiding being gay and being absolutely terrified of what you would do if you found out you arrogant condensing son of a bitch, I’m sorry all that fucked with my head for a while. I’m sorry I have been accepted to an advanced double degree program because I am stupid, or inferior somehow. Because I don’t know jack shit about sports and would rather go to Les Miserables or Phantom of the opera, or Trans-Siberian Orchestra concerts than a ballgame that makes me stupid. I’m sorry I am not like my 14 year old nephew who you think walks on water because he can play sports and quote all the stats off the top of his head, I’m sorry he is damn near flunking out of school, but boy can he throw that ball. I’m sorry he is more the son you wanted than me, but stop putting me down mother fucker.
Ok, my rant is done now, I am recomposed, back to the calm cool, iceman I have grown used to being.

BW

We interupt this blog to bring you

Ok,

I have finally caught up with myself long enough to post something to the blog, so for those who have missed me, I’m back. So let me recap the last couple of weeks for you. It started with the remodel on my room. Well that became a disaster, we ended up having to pull up and the carpet because of a half ass patch job a previous owner had done, which because of the way we had to take up the old carpet to get to the messed up subfloor, I got new carpet, which meant having to completely empty the room. On top of that I had to help my sister with a project that she just had to have done immediately ( I mix all of the music for the cheerleaders she coaches), and help two friends with computer problems (the problem was determined to be located between the back of the chair and the keyboard). Throw a holiday in there and I am flat running out of time to get shit done. I also had to write three papers, two of them were simple and I just turned in some bullshit to get a grade and get the hell out of that god forsaken class. However, the third one, it was for my political philosophy class, Troystopher and Alternative blog know a bit about this paper. Well, to be honest, it became an obsession. The assignment was to do an 8-10 page paper addressing one of 20 questions the instructor gave us, or create our own scenarios and write a fictional paper that addresses our questions. I choose the fiction option, I ended up turning in a 22 page paper with a 3 page paper explanation. Now if you think that was obsessive enough, I’m not done yet, I created enough back story, character information, I have two legal pads worth of material that could be developed into at least another 100 pages of material, I could damn near write a book. So that has been my life for the last two weeks, work, school, work, school, I haven’t slept much, and have lived off of Sobe No Fear and Adrenaline Rush to keep me moving and halfway conscious. In other news however, I did have three tests cancelled this week, so now I just have final exams to take and I am done this year, no more papers or tests until next year. Well I am off to get some sleep.

In Closing, I was watching and SNL marathon today and figured I would share some quotes

“Schmitts Gay Beer, if you’ve got a thirst and your gay reach for a Schmitts Gay” (Seriously go search Schmitts Gay on YouTube, its funny)

“Don’t be a slut wipe your but” – from a sex ed class sketch

“Dick in a box” – JT with his dick in a box need I say more

And of course the ambiguously gay duo Ace and Gary

BW

Holidays

So here comes one of those things that just pisses me off. I have been out shopping at various stores, and since a couple of weeks before Halloween Christmas decorations were already appearing in stores. Now I am not anti Christmas, but come on, the middle of October is to damned early for Christmas shit to appear in stores. Well the weekend after Halloween I went shopping with my mom and what did I hear in the stores, Christmas music playing. I know it gets worse every year, but I remember 5 years ago the “official start” of the holiday shopping season. Now stores can’t get transitioned fast enough from fall to a brief layover at Halloween before throwing Christmas up, thanksgiving is basically passed over anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind Christmas, I don’t mind holiday music, but I don’t want to hear or see it in October. Oh well, guess that is the way it goes then. In other news, I am going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra again in St Louis on December 9th at the Scott Trade Center, I managed to score event floor level seats dead center about 30 rows from the stage. So after thanksgiving I have decided to share some holiday music on the blog, I will of course be posting some TSO, but I will also be posting my favorite holiday song from last year from The Dan Band.
BW

PS Remodel progress pics posted tonight

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Let me begin by saying that I am intentionally leaving out a lot of details from this and I ask that anyone who has heard any details not included herein to please not add them in, please trust my judgment on this one.

So I was at a party and ended up hooking up with a semi random guy. We will him USA Guy. Well while unlike most random hook ups we actually laid there and talked after we finished. One of the things we talked at length about was relationships and how neither one of us was really relationship material right now, mainly because at this point we are both career and goal driven, and anything more than friends just wouldn’t be fair, also add in the fact he is currently living many miles away from here. However, USA guys circumstances are a bit different than mine, my being gay won’t preclude me from my profession or finding a job I will enjoy when I finish my degrees. USA guy on the other hand, is gay and in the US Army, something he admits he loves doing even though under current rules he has to hide a very big and important part of himself. Every since we met and had that discussion it has had me thinking. Honestly I don’t get don’t ask don’t tell, I have never been a fan of Bill Clintons and this is one of the reasons. During his campaign, for the presidency he promised the GLBT community that he would allow homosexuals to serve in the military, many believe he implied openly serve. As I see it DADT was and still is a pathetic excuse and attempt to fulfill a campaign promise, something Clinton excelled at, promising the world and delivering very little of it and somehow people love him for it. Now I have several friends in the armed forces and they all share the belief that they don’t care who the guy next to them sleeps with as long as they can shoot straight (no pun intended) when the times comes, and do their job to the best of their ability and look out for their fellow soldiers. And the argument I like the best is that DADT protects gay and lesbian soldiers from harassment and physical harm from fellow soldiers by keeping their sexual orientation a secret, but you tell me is the trade between potential physical assault and the mental/emotional damage of having to constantly hide who and what you are just to be accepted. Gays and Lesbians are required to pay taxes, they are allowed to vote, they are allowed to hold public office, but a homosexual is not allowed to take up arms in defense of their country because some Washington bureaucrat thinks they can tells homo’s what is and is not good for them. It’s kind of like the joke from when I worked at the county, the eight scariest words of all time are I’m from the government, I’m here to help. But anyway, I’m glad I got to spend at least some time with an insanely attractive, extremely smart, kind, caring guy maybe someday in this fucked up world he will be able to have both, a career he loves and a partner he can love openly, but until then to all the homo’s in the Armed forces, keep going, a new day will come, as it inevitably does, we might not see it in our generation, but it will come.

Adventures in Dating

Lately I have been thinking a lot about relationships. No let me preface this by saying, I don’t feel I need a boyfriend or will die without one. My point is, I honestly just want someone to be friends with who can relate to me. Now I admit like a lot of closeted guys, I never dated during High School so I guess you could say I am really new to this whole dating thing as it is. And I’ll admit I found myself falling for one guy, he problem is he was the guy I could never have, and I still wonder if anything I did helped lend itself to our estrangement now. I won’t go into details on that relationship, so don’t even ask, a few people know but that’s all that needs to know. Well over the last few months I have tried seeking out people to get to know, be friends with, well what I have found so far isn’t much so I decided to share my experience so far, after this we will continue
1. TargetGuy – well he seemed nice at first, just wanted to be friends, go see movies, hang out. Sounds exactly like what I am looking for. Well I was liking him, we had been talking on line and getting along rather well. Well he works in retail and asked me (knowing I used to work in retail) what I thought about it, well I being the blunt honest type that I am told him what I thought, I hated it. Well he went off on a tirade calling me a self-righteous know it all who couldn’t be happy for someone having a job they liked. Good for him, he likes working retail I didn’t end of story.
2. Old Guy – yeah he was just a creepy 54 year old who wanted a “son” to have sex with. Yeah, I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I am certainly not looking for some old man to have some fantasy/fetish relationship with.
3. Stuck up guy – now this guy was older, 38 which I am ok with that, it’s better than 54. He seemed like a nice guy. Well he wanted to see a picture, so I showed him one. We kept talking and then he left with “well nice to talk to but I can’t fuck you, your fat”. First I told they guy I was not looking for sex, I was just wanting to be friends with someone and see what developed. So he is off
4. Straight Guy – yeah he’s the one I fell for but can never have. He was cute, funny, and honestly understood me better than just about anyone. Easy to see why I fell for him ain’t it.

So yeah, I have been out for a year and fell for a straight guy, and the only people I have found while searching for people to even just be friends with have turned out to be old perverts, psychotic, and just plain stupid. So really im not sure what to do, is it me doing something wrong, is it just that this place isn’t the best location on earth for finding other gay guys to hang out with, and is it that rare to find a young (20-38) gay guy who wants more than a quick suck and fuck. I know I am only 24, and I should just be patient. Moreover, like I said I am not into a big hurry to rush into anything right now, because honestly I don’t have time for a relationship right now. And I know once I get out of this town I might have better luck also. So this is the end of my rant on adventures in dating (sounds like a bad 80’s movie don’t it)

Clothes

Ya know, unlike many gay men, I hate shopping for clothes, mainly because I usually end up wanting to bitch slap the sales associate. I know I am overweight, but that is no reason for someone to be rude when I am looking for clothes. I was in an Aeropostal a couple weeks ago looking for some clothes for my nephew, and the sales associate walked up and actually told me that she didn’t think they would carry anything in my size, didn’t ask if I was shopping for myself or a gift. And I have had the satually looking for mStyself. I work in a job that requires me to dress in a professional manner (IE Shirt and Tie) I was looking for ties at a Macy’s and the look I got from the pencil thin sales associate just screamed his disdain for overweight people in his department. Now I know I am overweight, I know part of it is my own fault, but I am also 6’2” at no time in my life, even as a child have I been the pencil thin skin and bones type. Now I admit I could lose some weight but I am never, not in a million years going to be a size 25, or a size 16 neck on a dress shirt, unfortunately most of what I can find in my size is t-shirts about big dogs and shit. People wonder why people have self-esteem issues, why people had low self-image, and why people do dangerous and drastic measures to lose weight. It is just stupid how judgmental society can be. And it extends outside of the dressing room. It extends into dating; People will take one look at you and keep walking. You could be the nicest guy on earth, but if your too short, weight to much, you get passed over, it don’t matter if the hot guy at the end of the bar is a complete dick who will treat you like shit, that’s what it seems like most people are looking for. But then again when you turn on TV and all the guys have nice tans, six packs abs, bulging pecks, and the fat guys are the one who are either the comedy relief or the fat evil slob. And it’s the same for girls also; all the women have nice tans and big jugs. It’s no wonder people have the ingrained ideas about people, they are spoon fed from grammar school that the beautiful succeed and those who aren’t get left behind.

Stupid People

Ok, here is the post that I had written and planned to post the other day when I had to go off on the events around where I live. Well now that I have had to some time to cool off after that and go back over this one (which was almost as equally irate, now it’s just bitchy) I have decided to go ahead and post it.

Ok, I know I have commented on stupid people before, but there is this guy who sits behind me in one of my classes who at least 5 people in the class want to just walk up to a deck the little bastard. He is one of those who has to offer his opinion on everything, and as I have said I can respect someone who disagrees with me as long as they can at least make an intelligent argument. But this kid is such a fucking idiot. He rants and raves on the evils of stuff made in china, but he has at least 3 pairs of Nikes, and last time I checked those are not made in the USA. But the one that really pissed me off is him and his little jackass friend got discussing the war one day, now I have my own faults with the war but I still support the troops. These two little assholes got on the subject of how people in the army are stupid and how they should all be treated as killers. They then got on the subject of free speech. And proceeded to go off on how there is no free speech in the United States because the government won’t let anyone speak against it. Now while I believe we have reached a point of over censorship, I think we still have free speech, I also wanted to take my laptop slam his face down and make him read the screen about the people shot in Myanmar for peacefully demonstrating against the government. Last time I checked none of the peace protests or protests against the president have ended with protestors being gunned down in the streets and police curfew being enforced. Its real easy to sit in a comfortable classroom, in your nice cloths, able to spout whatever bullshit you can come up with, but just once, I would like to send some of these people to places like Iran, Myanmar, North Korea, Cuba, and let them talk shit about the government and learn the true meaning of an oppressive government, the true meaning of free speech, but hey they obviously dislike this country so much and think our government is so evil and cruel, those places would be like a good vacation for them

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